- Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.
- John Lennon
- Sometime last year, D and I started to have conversations about “our future”. You know, the conversations about getting engaged, married and having a family. I was particularly anxious and nervous about the family discussion. D and I both loved kids, but I had been told by more than one doctor in the past that getting pregnant would be particularly difficult. As one doctor put it, I would require “serious medical intervention” if I wanted to get pregnant. When I told D, he understood and said that we’d worry about that when the time comes. After further discussions, we decided that moving-in together was the next step. We’d see where it went from there, but marriage and family were definitely things we wanted.
We attended the wedding of D’s best friend in November. It was a beautiful, intimate wedding. We were sat with the rest of his family at the reception and were teased about when would we be “next”. To placate them, we told his family that we were planning to move in together. They congratulated us. D’s sister-in-law gave us one piece of advice “No matter what you do, don’t have a baby first…”
Three weeks later in early December, my period was late despite using preventative measures. I took a pregnancy test on a whim and it was negative.
A week after that, we got this..
To say that we were stunned is an understatement. I initially reacted like a teenager who got pregnant on prom night. What are we going to do? What are my folks going to say? Then, it dawned on me that I’m 37. Then the panic switched to whole other array of reactions. How are we going to afford this? OMG! I’m going to be an “old mom”. What if the baby has problems because I’M SOOO OLD?!! We’re supposed to get married. THEN have a baby. I’m going to be someone’s MOM. We’re going to be parents. WTH?!! Blame it on the hormonal flux. Either way, I was a mess. Thankfully, D is the the calm and rational one. His reaction? We wanted to have kids eventually. We’re just having them earlier than we planned and we can figure the rest out later. Either way, this is a blessing and it was meant to happen. I couldn’t argue with that.
After the shock wore off, we started to make decisions about what to do next. We moved up our schedule for moving in together. Then, we decided to wait to tell anyone about the baby in case something should go wrong and I miscarry. I also wanted to buy some time before I told my folks who I feared would take the news badly. (As it turns out, I was right, but that is another story). So, we kept quiet for weeks. Christmas passed. Then, New Year’s passed. We went on vacation to Miami in January. Other than feeling very exhausted and being a temporary narcoleptic, I was feeling good.
Right before Valentine’s Day, we got a glimpse of our little bundle.
After that first sonogram, we entered our second trimester. We told part of our immediate families. They were ecstatic, especially D’s mom. Although, we still didn’t tell my folks. We wanted to wait until after we moved in together.
At the end of February, we moved in together. It went smoothly and we happily set about creating a homestead. We waited for the “right time” to tell my folks. In the meantime, I was like an actress on a TV show trying to keep the pregnancy under wraps. I became the master of loose tops, big purses and scarves. Despite the fact that I wasn’t drinking at social gatherings, no one suspected a thing. Even during D’s birthday which falls on St. Patrick’s Day, no one even raised an eyebrow when I refused to have a drink.
At the end of March, D and I finally met with my mom and told her the news. She didn’t take the news well and suggested we wait to tell my pops and my grandmother. We left it to her to decide when would be appropriate to tell them. So to give my mom some time to process the information, we didn’t tell the rest of our friends.
In the meantime, we were enjoying my pregnancy and planning for our baby’s arrival. While we were dying to tell everyone our news, it was nice to celebrate our impending arrival in private. We got a reprieve from unsolicited advice and sometimes inappropriate questions.
We finally got to a point where I felt like I couldn’t hide my growing baby bump any longer. We started telling our friends who have been overwhelmingly happy for us and very SUPRISED. Turns out, I wasn’t showing as much I thought. I guess the props worked after all.
So here we are, 23 weeks into the greatest adventure of our lives. I’ll be posting more now that the “cat is out of the bag”. We know the gender of Baby K-D, but aren’t announcing it until my baby shower in June. Either way, our lives will never be the same after August and we couldn’t be happier.